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“You don’t know this new me; I put back my pieces, differently.” . . . . This blog has been really quiet. I’ve been away. I took the majority of 2019 to really, REALLY heal. To put my money where my mouth is and do the work. 💪🏻 I made hard decisions. I set the firmest boundaries that I have ever set, and as a result, my greatest fear came to fruition. I lost people. I had to grieve that. I had to allow myself that grief and that time. . . . But then, something amazing began to happen. I began to feel myself, my TRUE self, emerge again. The child who died inside of me so many years before was slowly reborn. It’s not the fake positivity that I forced as a young adult. It’s true joy for having the opportunity to get to know myself again. To love my authentic self. . . . . At the end of 2019, I am stronger than ever. I am ready for 2020 to be a year in which I am able to give more to you. I can finally, FINALLY, tell my story without crying. I am no longer raw. I can serve in a way that doesn’t slow my own healing. Get ready! It’s gonna be a great year. 🎉🎉 #2020 #2020vision #ptsd #cptsd #mentalhealthmatters #anxiety #youarenotalone #edwarrior #recovery #love #loveyourself #blogger #mentalhealthblogger #warrior #empowerment #abuserecovery

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i am bigger than the outside shell of my body 🌱

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part of coping with trauma for me was closing off my heart to avoid feeling vulnerability or pain. it felt too scary to my body and mind to feel things. but unfortunately when you cut off your heart from feeling pain, it’s also hard to feel other emotions like joy, love, and the wide spectrum of emotions that come with being a human. so for a while i’ve been working on opening my heart and getting my body to feel safe enough for that to be possible. lately i’ve felt a shift. i’m feeling more. i’m less scared and numbed. and it’s really exciting. but it can also be overwhelming! so this is what this note is about. anyone else struggle with feelings, whether it’s struggling to feel them at all or being overwhelmed by emotions? being a human is really wild, y’all.

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Through scripture we know that God wants us to succeed in life. By growing and using our faith & trust in the Lord we can be strengthened to fulfill His will for our lives- this is true success in life. . #thethreadbook #thethreadcollection #leoniemattison #achieveintentionaltransformation #authorsofinstagram #igauthor #letgodsdaughtersgo #hellnotoabuse #healingquotes #abuserecovery #healingthroughGod #traumawork . Grab a copy of The Thread book at www.leoniemattison.com

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don’t EVER accept less than what you deserve. you’re worth moons and stars and the sun and more. if you’re with someone who can’t see that and treats you anything less, tell their sorry ass you don’t got the motherfuckin time to deal with it. #recovery #abuserecovery #poem #poetry #poet

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TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION/ MILD DESCRIPTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT I previously wrote a post on what it is like to disclose your abuse to the police, something I get asked about quite a lot. However, that post only covered the first day of my disclosure, the first time I went to the police station. The police procedures went on for weeks and therefore I have described them further in this post. The police procedures were tough. I’ve heard many survivors of sexual assault (which has similar processes, I haven’t heard as many people talk about disclosing abuse) say that it is harder than the actual assault. I personally didn’t find that as when disclosing I was lucky enough to be surrounded by the loveliest people who did whatever they could to make me more comfortable but it was incredibly difficult. I was absolutely terrified. As I’ve said before, disclosing is a huge part of a survivor’s journey, whether they choose to or not. It effects each survivor in different ways. Some may feel completely relieved and heard, others may feel betrayed by the justice system. Some may feel inspired, others may feel traumatised (or a mix). Some survivors won’t want to disclose, some will but be too afraid of being doubted or having to relive it. I think it’s so important for us all to have an understanding of what it can be like to disclose (by reading stories from a range of survivors) so we can both support those who have disclosed and better sympathise with those who are not comfortable to. #abuse #abusesurvivor #childabuse #abuserecovery #abuseawareness #abuser #abusers #hiddenabuse #abuseofpower #stopabuse #childabuseawareness #stopchildabuse #childsexualabuse #rapevictim #rapesurvivor #believesurvivors #metoo #metoomovement #timesup #timesupnow #svu #childprotection #childsafety #safeguarding #speakout #teengirl #childrensrights #humanrights #csa

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Reposted from @johnmarkgreenpoetry (@get_regrann) - . Unfortunately, abuse survivors are often made to feel that they somehow are to blame for what happened to them. The sociopaths and sadists who committed the abuse are untroubled by the awful things they did. . . . . . #johnmarkgreen #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivors #domesticviolence #poem #domesticabuse #overcomingabuse #victimblaming #abuserecovery #youarenottoblame #sociopaths #monsters #abusiverelationship #verbalabuse #narcabuse #poetry #narcissisticabuse #physicalabuse #mentalabuse - #regrann

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Every star has her embarrassing moment but she shines in her unique way. ⠀⠀ When you start to ask yourself what do you want in your life and what do you love, and start to take actions, magic will happen. Your mind will gradually shift from the past to present and future, from the abusers to your passion and brightness. And most of all, from darkness to the light you are bringing to the world. ⠀⠀ #childhoodabuse #spiritualawakening #traumarecovery #abuserecovery #childhoodtrauma #traumahealing #traumarecovery #narcissisticmother #gentleparenting #parenting #emotions #traumatherapy #innerchildhealing #mentalhealth #bpd #mentalhealthblogger #childhoodtrauma #traumainformed #mentalillness #trauma #cptsd #healthyboundaries #healing #mentalhealthawareness #suicide #complexptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #generationaltrauma #ptsd #family via @preview.app

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Get to the gym, do your inner healing work, see your friends and family, and have a social life. While the kids are with your ex, do fun things too so you don't feel helpless and powerless wondering what they're doing at the other house. . If you use that time to work on your self-care, when the kids come back to your house, you'll be able to be 100% present with them. . For more info, watch the video ‘When the narcissist uses your kids as pawns | Coparenting with a toxic ex’ on YouTube.

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In April my ex was having a frenzied manic episode and he threw out so many of my mugs and even my DVDs -I managed to save the DVDs but my mugs were smashed. I lost some of my favourites 😔 I mentioned to my family I’ll have to start building up my mug collection again. My Dad surprised me with this mug the other day ❤️ thanks Dad! #momlife #mug #mugs #abusesurvivor #abuserecovery

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