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I had to talk about this because in our society, we often hear female victims of sexual assault being shamed because the alleged perpetrator is supposedly handsome and she is supposedly less attractive. Rape is borne out of a primal need to control and take away the power of another person. Rapists like other predators get their kick out of overpowering a more vulnerable person. It has got nothing to do with the physical attractiveness of the victim. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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This is a classic case of the toxic saying in our culture "๐™‰๐™ค ๐™ฅ๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™ข๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ข๐™–๐™ฃ ๐™ข๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง ๐™ข๐™–๐™ ๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ข ๐™ฃ๐™ค ๐™ช๐™จ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช ๐™จ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ก๐™š..." I laughed hysterically when i saw this tweet and then after that crazy bout of laughter, i became sad. We are so ignorant about how abuse works in our society. . This is classic trauma bonding. This lady doesnt love this man but is addicted to the adrenaline rush which comes when they make up. The victim of the abuse truly believes that she loves her man. Afterall, he isnt violent all the time so she keeps putting up with each abusive episode hoping for the next time when he becomes sweet. . A vicious cycle begins and without realising it, she looses her self each passing day while the abuser become more vilolent and brazzen in his abuse. Trauma bonding creates an addiction which mimics the rush felt by heroine addicts. . . . . . . Do you know anyone in this situation? ๐™‡๐™š๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฌ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™ข๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™œ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ... ๐™Ž๐™๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™’๐™๐™–๐™ฉ๐™จ๐˜ผ๐™ฅ๐™ฅ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™จ. ๐™‹๐™š๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ก๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #bbnaija2019

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I was having a conversation with a dear friend who has been off the dating market for some tine now. She seemed to be in a dilema. She caught feelings for a man who didnt give her the attention she deserves. Dude will go for two months without contacting her and when he did, he made sure to tell her that she shoudnt try to act wise just because she is a lawyer. . It took everything i had to help her understand that she is being ghosted by a very toxic person. I tried to help her understand that she shoudnt get carried away by how she feels about the man but should also think about how he makes her feel. This man has been subtly diminishing this lady and she didn't even realise it. . Love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who makes you doubt your worth. Your prospective partner should leave you feeling refreshed and not drained and unworthy. . . . . . . . ๐™‡๐™š๐™ฉ๐™จ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ฌ ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™ข๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™œ๐™–๐™ž๐™ฃ... ๐™Ž๐™๐™–๐™ง๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ ๐™ž๐™ฃ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™’๐™๐™–๐™ฉ๐™จ๐˜ผ๐™ฅ๐™ฅ ๐™œ๐™ง๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™จ. ๐™‹๐™š๐™ค๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ก๐™š๐™–๐™ง๐™ฃ. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #lagos #naijastartup

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The contribution by this community member warmed my heart. It takes a lot of honesty and self awareness to publicly admit to once having the notion of Caucasian superiority. . Truth is that most of us have this unconscious belief that the white man is superior and I truly dont blame people with this notion. Look around you. The bleaching industry is a $billion industry because colorism is a phenomenon we dont want to address, the proliferation of weaves and wigs became so popular because ๐™ข๐™ค๐™จ๐™ฉ of the users are trying to measure up to Eurocentric standards of beauty. . We are constantly bombarded by the media with imageries and words which depict white superiority. Africans are usually depicted as improverished and dirty. Unfortunately, our brothers and sisters have bought into this white washed propaganda. Dear #survivors, introspection is needed to understand this sensitive topic. Do you buy into white washed propaganda? #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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Like i always say, female abusers are actually more dangerous than male abusers for two reasons. 1. They know that the stereotype which pertains to abusers is in their favour. It is hard for the average person to view a woman as abusive at first glance. 2. These female abusers know this and exploit this societal perception to the hilt. . So many men are being abused but afraid to speak out because they are afraid of being perceived as weak. If you are going through this, please speak out. Dont let it get to this point. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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This table has finally been decimated and burnt to ashes. This is a very insightful thread. Please swipe to read to the end. . Clearly, the colonizers still have our minds as a society enslaved. Let me here you in the comment section if you have experienced this. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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For people like these, i started to blog about abuse. Dear #survivors, please share positivity with this community member. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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Most people refuse to let go of toxic people because they are too busy thinking about what they have invested in the relationship. Hmmmm. You need to understand that your emotional and physical wellbeing is much more important than whatever you think you have invested. . You cannot see the amazing potentials in other people around you when you are clinging desperately to what you are familiar with. This is why the 'devil you know' narrative is very faulty. The fact that you are unwilling to let go of toxic people does not mean that better people are not out there. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #bbnaija2019

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It sounds hilarious and some people might even say that it is discipline. However, we now know that some parents can truly be toxic. . Did you experience any of these growing up? How did it make you feel? Lets here you in the comment section ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿพ. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia

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It doesnโ€™t matter how old you are, how many opportunities you feel has been missed, your race, gender or class. Because you are reading this, today is the begging of the rest of your life... Make the best of it, go on champ, youโ€™ve got this . Share with someone who needs this. Follow @realtalkauntyf . . . . . #motivationalquotes #motivation #inspirations #inspirationalquotes #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #abuse #abusedwomen #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivor9ja #selfcare #selfcarequotes #selfworthquotes #emotionalabusesurvivor #abusedwomen #abuserecovery #selfawarenessjourney #selfawakening #selflovequotes #selfcarethreads #selfconfidence #selfconfidencequotes #selfworthy #selfworthjourney #womensupportwomen #healingfromabuse #paintopurpose #anxiety #anxietyrelief #anxietyquote

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Sell your market in the comment section. Someone might be interested in your commodity or service. . Economy is hard. #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #bbnaija2019

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See eh, words just fail me. Isn't this wickedness? #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #kikimordi

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Some weeks ago, an illegal detention centre was raided by men if the Nigerian Police Force. Yesterday, a young lady was shown to have been locked up in a room by her brother for two years for refusing to remarry her ex husband who used abuse her. . Biko, what is going on in Northern Nigeria? #abusesurvivor9ja #kemzyabia #kikimordi

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How many times have you heard someone apologise over what theyโ€™ve done but they keep doing the same thing over and over again. . Are you the one who keeps apologising but never changes? . After a while, Sorry doesnโ€™t mean anything anymore and when you donโ€™t acknowledge their apology they get angry. whatโ€™s that all about?. . Donโ€™t keep putting yourself through this cycle, itโ€™s not good for your mental health. . . . . # #motivationalquotes #motivation #inspirations #inspirationalquotes #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #abuse #abusedwomen #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivor9ja #selfcare #selfcarequotes #selfworthquotes #emotionalabusesurvivor #abusedwomen #abuserecovery #selfawarenessjourney #selfawakening #selflovequotes #selfcarethreads #selfconfidence #selfconfidencequotes #selfworthy #selfworthjourney #mentalhealthawareness #healingfromabuse #healingquotes #anxiety #anxietyrelief #anxietyquote

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Be gentle and kind with yourself. I know you want to feel whole and back to your original self . I know it feels like you are not making progress, trust me, You are!! You are getting stronger daily. Hang in there Like, follow and share @realtalkauntyf . . . . . # #motivationalquotes #motivation #inspirations #inspirationalquotes #verbalabuse #emotionalabuse #abuse #abusedwomen #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivor9ja #selfcare #selfcarequotes #selfworthquotes #emotionalabusesurvivor #abusedwomen #abuserecovery #selfawarenessjourney #selfawakening #selflovequotes #selfcarethreads #selfconfidence #selfconfidencequotes #selfworthy #selfworthjourney #rccg #healingfromabuse #healingquotes #anxiety #anxietyrelief #anxietyquote

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