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*** SWIPE TO SEE MY DEMOLISHED MEAL *** #formal - Okay so I had my Grade 10 graduation formal 2 days ago 🥳💘 and I thought I’d share my outfit and and food pic x This is what recovery is all about, coming to a point where you are fully recovered and go out and eat a meal for a significant milestone or a treat and not restrict or compensate in any way. I didn’t count calories & I didn’t eat less then anyone else, I think I may of even ate a little more 😂😂. Anyways this night I had a Thick slice of Ciabatta bread for an #appetizer and after I had what I tell you is a HUGE CHICKEN SCHNITZEL! With half a plate of chips and a little gravy, I ate the whole schnitzel the size of half my face and almost all my chippies 🥳🤤 (couldn’t fit them all in my stomach lolz) and the after #dinner i had a very yummy #dessert of A slice of passion fruit cheesecake and a mini scoop of vanilla ice cream 💛 I had so much fun ! Dancing non stop with my friends, talking to the people in my year I don’t usually talk to, coming together like a big family. Listing to the awards people were granted was very enjoyable too! Overall i had a great time and if I didn’t choose to overcome anorexia this year it wouldn’t of been possible. This year has had its lows and highs but I’ve made it and I’m proud of myself! This is what it’s truly like to live. It’s amazing 💛 #year10formal #formal2019 #anorexia #anorexic #ana #anorexianervosa #recovery #recovered #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #anorexicrecovered #food #eat #not1in5 #eatittobeatit #nourishtoflourish #health #healthy #anorexiawarrior #warrior #mentalhealth #dress #event

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I tried bagels for the first time today, and omg they are amazing😍🥯. . I can’t believe I have gone my whole life without trying them! . For lunch today, I had 2 serves of baked beans with veggies and half a bagel, followed by yoghurt with cereal and frozen berries😍. . This was very filling, but I’m trying to be comfortable with that✨. . I hope you’re having a great weekend💕. . #eatingdisordersupport #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderecovery #eatingdisorder #disorderedeating #disorderedeatingrecovery #edrecovery #recovery #recoverywarrior #recoverywarriors #recoveryispossible #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosa #loveyourself #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #ana #anarecovery #lunch #lunchtime #foodphotography #foodpics #foodstyling #bagel #bakedbeans #lunchideas

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Rainy Saturday night in the city ☔️

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The pressure to be “merry and bright” can make us feel like we are “not enough”, like we pale in comparison to the sparkle we see represented. Holidays may be the hardest time, despite the tinsel and the tunes! How about this-The only thing you really NEED to do is show up for yourself. Stay. Stay with yourself. . Nobody’s got your back like you do. Your Eating Disorder may want to take advantage of your feeling down, or swoop in to distract or rescue. Don’t fall for it; Stay with yourself. . . . During times of discomfort and pain, stay with yourself. When heartache and disappointment take your breath away, stay with yourself. When it feels like you will go under with the pressure and stress, stay with yourself. . . . Practices that might help you stay with yourself: -Dancing in your kitchen -If you practice yoga, poses that create strong sensations, such as hip openers. Breathing with and through the sensation -the release of a good cry -Writing, writing, writing -Call a friend and let them know how you are feeling -for me, hot tea helps me stay -Music, music, music -Pets, oh there is nothing like a snuggly, warm pet -snuggles with loved ones too -creating art -star gazing or cloud watching (another one of my favorites) What about you? What helps you stay with yourself? Please know are not alone. Sending love. #holidaysurvival #stay #staywithyourself #edrecoverywarrior #cedrd #recoverycoach #yogaforeatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #bedrecovery #osfedrecovery #chronicdietingrecovery #arfidrecovery #bulimiarecovery #sendinglove

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Wow ! Today was pretty intense. My challenge today was to eat a chocolate bar but it definitely wasn’t my only challenge. I’ve been working at a sandwich shop for nearly 5-6 months now and I could probably count on one hand how many sandwiches I’ve allowed myself to eat from there (even less with ACTUAL bread) it was important to me to face that irrational fear linked to regular white bread. Within my recovery I want to be sure that these challenges aren’t just disguising an excuse to not truly put my eating disorder in the trash, I absolutely could’ve only ate the chocolate today, i could’ve pretended that I didn’t want a sandwich, I could’ve ate a salad instead or had oatmeal, and I could’ve still felt just as proud for completing the task I had picked from my jar. But that wouldn’t of done me any good, because I still would’ve been listening to the eating disorder which isn’t fair to me and more importantly isnt truthful to me. I kept that same thinking with dinner, it has been MONTHS since I’ve had any sort of pepperoni on a pizza let alone REGULAR cheese, so today I would definitely say was a big win 💖

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In case you need a reminder💕 • • Photo: taken @amanda_castellano in Princeton, NJ today. Edited w/ @vsco and graphics made with adobe spark + photoshop • • #recoverywarriors #edsurvivor #edrecovery #anarecovery #additionrecovery #mentalillness #stigmafighter #feelingisstrong #vulnerabilityisyoursuperpower

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12//14//19 ❣️ 𝓕𝓓𝓞𝓔 ~ 𝓑𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓯𝓪𝓼𝓽 ~ *NO PIC* McDonald’s yogurt parfait 𝓛𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓱 ~ turkey and cheese sandwich with veggies and a protein bar 𝓓𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻 ~ turkey + veggies 𝓢𝓷𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼 ~ Strawberry truffles, quinoa puffs, cinnamon roll oatmeal + blueberries, and celery + almond butter ❣️ 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓻𝔂 𝓔𝓷𝓽𝓻𝔂 ~ today has been quite good! No real wins but I ate enough (: I still haven’t finished my research paper which is stressing me out big time! Today was an odd day, we did go grocery shopping and I got some fear foods! Other than that my ed has been rather quiet, yay! I did bake a cheesecake which was so cool! I love baking it’s one of my hobbies (: sadly though, my ED and School have been a lot lately. Anyways, here is my FDOE. It looks like a lot and my ed is trying to convince me I’m overeating but in actuality I’m not. I’m losing weight and this is not good for me! Tomorrow is always a brand new day and I’m so excited. I’m being forced to go to a church I’m not interested in though. The kids my age kinda suck and really brought me into my ED. I prefer my other church, I don’t have to compare myself to anyone there. But this means I have an opportunity to challenge myself! It’s time I fight my ED and tell her to stop forcing me to compare myself to others. I am strong and beautiful! There is no one I need to compare myself to. I am unique and so are you. We all have stories and journeys, we all are strong. We shouldn’t hurt ourselves and let our ED put us down. Some times it’s easy to forget this recovery is about our body image and our mental state, not just our food. I love you all so much and you are all strong. We will fight this together! You are not alone. Need support or a friend? Dm me. (: ~ Iz ~ ~ ~ #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #recovery #edfood #fooddiary #eddiary #edjourney #foodjournal #edfood #anarecovery #recovery #recovering #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordersupport #edwarrior #anawarrior #anorexicrecovery #fdoe #edfdoe #eatingdisordersurvivor

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Finally said fuck it and ordered pancakes for breakfast!

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Tonight's dinner was Alfredo pasta and I added some garlic powder in that made it even tastier. I'm proud of myself today for choosing a better breakfast over the one I was going to eat. Alot has been going on recently and I've been really stressed but I just need to keep pushing through. #recovery #anorexiarecovery #recoveringfromanorexia #fightinganorexia #fightingeatingdisorders #recoveringanorexic #anorexianervosarecover #anarecovery #anorexiarecovery #bodypositive #bodypositivity

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Maple oatflakes + almond milk + 2 gingerbread cookies Instant noodles (!!!!) Honey spread on cracker + ahoy mini cookies (tempted to skip but didn't #recoverywin ) Peas mushroom jalaoeños in plum sauce + smoked tofu + yogurt 5 gingerbread cookies . Idk what it is today but I feel so overwhelmed by food and out of control towards it. Maybe is bc I had very little sleep last night or that I'm super depressed and self hating, or it's bc I'm on winter break which means nothing to do which means no need of energy which is triggering me disorder that wants me not to eat in this case. . #edrecovery #edwarroir #eatingdisorderrecovery #healthy #tca #bulimia #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #vegetarian #healthy #healthyfood #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #vegan #breakfast #cereal #fdoe #fooddiary #cookie

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Good morning lovely people and happy Sunday 🌻✨ - I had a pretty good day yesterday, I did some shopping and even brought some things for myself! I’m really stingy when it comes to my money 😅 I HATE spending money on myself because ‘do you really need that?’ or ‘you don’t deserve that’ or ‘don’t waste it on yourself’ etc etc 🙄 buuuttt you know, it’s ok to spoil yourself sometimes, even if your brain is a nasty little bitch 💁🏼‍♀️ there’s no logical reason why you shouldn’t be allowed nice things for yourself, you’re worthy, you deserve it, you deserve to treat yourself and make yourself happy, in whatever way that may be 😌. So do it. Do something today that’s nice for yourself. Buy yourself that nice shirt you’ve been looking at for forever. Go out for a coffee. Relax and read a nice book. Go get your nails done. Do whatever YOU want that brings YOU happiness 🙌🏻✨

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i feel like shit today but for all the right reasons ;) ~💕~ Last nights i had a sleepover with friends and surprisingly, unexpectedly, it wasn’t triggering at all. It was so much fun having everyone there and i wanna do it again:) ~💕~ Woke up & left at 9 got home took a nap until 3 and then felt like shit the rest tof the day w a migraine. fun fun

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Had two of these fruit mince pies from my local bakery this week after being inspired by @recoveryjorja and her Christmas challenge 😻 I'm glad I got these because it doesn't seem like December without fruit mince pies. My week has had ups and downs and I've been really worked up and stressed out for a lot of it. But I've been trying really hard not to use ED behaviours and finally have my ED clinic appointment date... in February 😬 But at least there is an actual date now. I'm just exhausted still, the temptation to go back to bed for the rest of the day is strong. I feel like everyone wants me to do A LOT and it's too much when I don't have any professional support. I'm very easily overwhelmed at the moment and I don't really know how to make it better. I just desperately need support at this point, I'm exhausting everyone around me as well as myself and I hate it 😭 #edrecovery #anarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #prorecovery #recovery #edfam #edfighter #anawarrior #eatingdisorder #anorexiaproblems #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety

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Life presents us with challenges. Like having an eating disorder and learning how to recover and how to show up each day and do recovery despite the other challenges life throws at us. When life gives us a challenge we can choose to show up or not. And we can choose how we are going to show up. We can look at the challenges given to us and give up or we can embrace the challenge and even find positives along the way. Some of the strongest people I know are recovering from ED and have faced many challenges. They rose to the occasion. You are strong despite what ED may say. You are stronger than ED and if you are reading this I know you can recover. You matter, you are important and you can face the challenges in life and in recovery. Choose to see the roses in life, don’t let the thorns of life stop you from seeing the roses.

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Now if only buddy was there my little baker dreams would’ve came true🤩 . There really was no plan for today but by noon I still hadn’t eaten anything! . Growing up I loved watching buddy and baking is a massive passion of mine so when I saw there was a Carlos Bakery it was hard to pass up on! . I went back and forth in my head to the point it took me a whole hour after buying it to gain the courage to eat it! . But I did, every last bite, and it was delicious! . Another fear food✔️

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Sometimes I feel like we don’t talk about all the risks that come with half assing recovery from an eating disorder (will fully admit that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 2 years and I am saying NO MORE). I had a long conversation with my doctor and he made a few points I think other people might benefit from hearing. 1. When you use behaviors, you toe the line medically. Being “medically stable” doesn’t mean that things can’t change the next day or even a few hours later. Even if you’re eating more or purging less, that doesn’t mean all is well. 2. I try to play down my medical issues from my ED because my ED brain says they aren’t that bad. Reality check: direct quote from my doctor, “most 25 year olds aren’t doing this or worrying about this. Most 25 year olds don’t have the medical issues you have.” 3. Purging is really fucking dangerous. My doctor had patients only a few years older than me who have life long effects from purging, and I already have been having some issues from that (even though purging isn’t my primary symptom). 4. Along those lines, restricting is also really dangerous AND, “there are long term consequences of what you’re doing. As you keep doing this, your bones keep whittling away and you can’t come back from that. Your GI system keeps getting impacted and so does your brain.” (Direct quote) 5. Your motivation WILL wax and wane. One thing I like about my doctor is that he really understands that it’s so much more than the medical piece. He acknowledges that this is really tough and sometimes you just won’t want to do the recovery oriented choice. 6. There isn’t always going to be an epiphany moment. If you wait for that moment when you say, “enough is enough”, you might be waiting a long time. Sure, some people do have this moment, but a lot of people don’t. And waiting isn’t taking responsibility for your recovery (according to my doctor). (dEATS: Dig Inn brown rice bowl with tofu, broccoli, and brussel sprouts) . . . . . . #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexia #bulimia #osfedrecovery #orthorexiarecovery #health #healthy #food #macros #strongnotskinny #anarecovery #bodypositive

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my parents went to a holiday party but i stayed back to work because next week is the dreaded finals week. soooo guess that means time to try and cook night! thank god for frozen dumplings and air fryers, would not survive without them. had ice cream straight after too. - - - with studying for finals and doing projects this last week and so, i just sit there and think “oh my god i know what’s going on”. i thought for the longest time that maybe i was super slow or broken but in reality i was just hungry. all those times i spent frustrated staring at a paragraph, could have saved hours just by having a snack. all those days i spent criticizing myself for having the attention span of a goldfish, i could have been eating a meal. food is the answer, there is no way around it. the future became so much clearer now that i actually fuel myself enough to have one. - - - deets: chicken veggie dumplings, purple sweet potato, roasted veg, cucumber, kimchi, spicy korean radish, spicy perilla leaves, spicy dumpling soy sauce thing, and yasso cookies ‘n cream bar straight after. - - - going to sound weird but only feeling stressed about school and not food or depression or anxiety or self body issues is SUPER nice. i feel kinda normal. - - - #edrecovery #anarecovery #anorexia #fuckanorexia #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #recoverywin #edfam #edsucks #food #eatittobeatit #anorexiawarrior #anafighter #anawarrior #recoveryispossible #recoveryisworthit #nourishtoflourish #recoveringanorexic #anorexiarecovering #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #recoverywarriors

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I donut care about your diet 🍩 . (made a custom pop socket for my partner’s birthday present. It’s extra ironic bc it was a free merch pop socket that I got from the treatment center that screwed me over this summer 😹) . { #painting #donut #donutsoverdiets #acrylic #recovery #prorecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #neda #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #ednosrecovery #ednos #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #haes #arttherapy #artjournal}

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12/14/19 my stomach pain has definitely made me lose the enjoyment of food and eating 😢 but im working on it! i love myself grilled veggies and gnocchi 🤩 literally could eat this every day !! i get the costco veggies and some of my favs in the mix are the water chestnuts, peas, and mushrooms. if i'm feeling a little crazy i'll add an onion to it as well!! #whatsonmyplate @traderjoes outside in potato gnocchi and @costco grilled veggies

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