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Day 1- What's in the basket?
I've been evaluating my basket for some time, now. What has made me the person I am today? What are my beliefs, thoughts, and values vs those that were placed upon me by others?
As a child, my basket was filled with religious ideals, as our priest was a family friend and we spent a lot of time with him. I was convinced of be a nun when I grew up. I also had expectations of doing well in school, waiting until marriage before sex (back to church), growing up, going to university, getting married, and having a lovely family of my own. I also received negative comments about my body from a family member that shaped my self image more than I ever realized. These were the messages I received.
In actuality, I have lived a life full of shame, fear, guilt, and anxiety. I worried all the time that I'd do something wrong, even if it was the littlest thing. I was tough on myself for my body not being perfect, and I was desperate to please my parents, grandparents, and the adult figures in my life. I sought their approval above all else. I did all the things expected of me above, but did I do them for myself or for others? At this point, it is what it is, and I can only move forward from this moment.
Now, I've dumped the basket out. I needed to be rid of the shame and guilt. I've never felt a sense of my own identity. I've always done what I was expected to do. I've been trying to determine who I am, not who others want me to be. I am starting to love myself as I am. I am discovering my own thoughts, ideas, desires, dreams, and wants. Some of the values from childhood might remain, but it will be because I decide they are important to me. I guess we will see what I discover. I know I needed to find my best self, to discover ME. To live my truth unapologetically and embracing it. But the basket had to be toppled first.
@butiyoga @breakmethod @themoderngood @bizziegold
#startingover #itsanewday #baskettoppled #findingme #bestself #lettinggo #lovemyselfnow #embracingme
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