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I truly understand how devastating it feels to be disbelieved by those around you. . I was even discredited as a child, when I attempted to speak out about the unspeakable abuse happening at home. One of the first things I did as a cry for help was go to school in tears, telling my peers and teachers that “my parents don’t love me.” Disturbingly, this was met with the following reactions: “Oh don’t be so stupid, of course your parents love you!” “Well perhaps you should stop being so naughty and disruptive at home then.” “Stop talking rubbish!” “Yeah right, stop trying to get attention.” “You ungrateful little mare, after all your parents have done for you!” “You’re a liar!” . That is just one example. This cruel victim blaming/disbelief from third parties has been going on since my early childhood, and continued into adulthood. . Most people who invalidate abuse survivors whilst defending abusers tend to be narcissistic themselves. However, I’ve realized that sadly, there are also many good people out there who tend to do it. Typically, unless someone knows what it’s like to endure this sheer hell, they either find abuse survivors burdensome, or just can’t relate to us. Many people are decent, but simply don’t have the level of empathy needed. . So the narcissists have not only given us the job of healing from their abuse, they’ve also systematically set many of us up to be all alone in life. . I’m now at the point where I won’t open up to anyone about the full extent of my complex traumas. I get that my story is too heavy for most people to deal with, and to be perfectly honest I just can’t face the thought of more invalidation, more disbelief, more victim blaming/shaming, more being forced to sweep it under the rug, and more being made to feel like a burden. . I’ll finish this post with an important reminder that abuse is never your fault, no matter how many times you’ve been a repeat abuse victim. The only cause of abuse, is abusers choosing to abuse, and they are always 100% responsible for their vile actions. . Does this resonate with you? Please share your experiences in the comment section if you feel comfortable. ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💙💙💙💙💙💙

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If you’ve ever endured a panic attack I deeply empathize with you, they are extremely unpleasant. The frightening physical symptoms of panic attacks are very real, and brought on by your body’s extreme fight-or-flight response. Although terrifying, panic attacks are seldom harmful. . 🧘‍♀️To help slow your breathing during a panic attack, inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 2 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds. . 💆‍♂️A useful grounding exercise to help you get through a panic attack: Look around and name: ➡️ 5 things you can see ➡️ 4 things you can feel ➡️ 3 things you can hear ➡️ 2 things you can smell ➡️ 1 thing you can taste This great tool can also be used anytime you need to stay calm. . ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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Tomorrow is a new day, please give yourself a break! 🤗🤗🤗 ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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📬 If you're already No Contact with the narcissist/s in your life, please stay strictly No Contact and completely ignore their manipulative Hoover attempts this holiday. They haven't changed no matter what BS they may tell you, so please be prepared to keep your guard up. . 📮 If the narcissist sends you a gift (bait!), or a card in the mail, don’t panic, just throw it straight in the garbage without even opening it. Remember, any reaction from you (even sending something back to them) is breaking No Contact, and also provides the toxic person with narc fodder, so please avoid 'returning to sender' or retaliating in any way. Let them feed off of someone else this holiday so you can have the peace and quiet you deserve! ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh ☃️❤️☃️❤️☃️❤️☃️❤️☃️❤️☃️❤️ . For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, ‘Hoovering’ is when a narcissist you’ve previously gone No Contact with randomly touches base hoping to bait you into a response, and suck you back into the abuse cycle.

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When you have children with an abusive ex, contact arrangements and communicating with them can be a nightmare, and in most cases the toxic parent will use this opportunity to further their abuse of you. To help you remain calm when dealing with this situation, I recommend you use an app to help you communicate. These apps are court approved, and maintain an unalterable record of all conversations, important dates, and shared files.⁠ ⁠ There are two rules you must adhere to when co-parenting with a narcissistic ex:⁠ ⁠ 1. You must decide that you will no longer be subjected to their control.⁠ 2. You must accept that you cannot co-parent with them.⁠ ⁠ Rule one is a mindset change, without committing to this, people tend to engage in a lot of unnecessary pacifying and catering to manipulative behaviour that will only get worse with time. You must first determine that you will no longer be controlled, and then figure out the rest (I can help with this).⁠ ⁠ The second rule is simply the acceptance of reality. You can’t co-parent with the narcissist because the narcissist is not an emotionally intelligent partner who wants what’s best for everyone. They have their own agenda, and therefore, to preserve your sanity, you must put up rock-solid boundaries and change your behaviour in a way that serves YOU and the children, not them.⁠ ⁠ You don’t co-parent with the narcissist; you simply share children with the narcissist.⁠ ⁠ 💜 Send me a DM if you would like to know how coaching can help you heal.⁠ ⁠ #narsissistabuselifecoach #selfloveafterabuse #narcissistabuse #narcissistpersonalitydisorder #sociopath #domesticviolence #narcissism #sociopath #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshipabuse #toxicrelationships #hiddenabuse #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #narcissist #narcissists #domesticabuse #betrayaltraumarecovery #narcopath #financialabuse #malignantnarcissist #covertnarcissist #intimatepartnerabuse #powerandcontrol #intimatepartnerviolence #toxicrecoverycoach #toxicitycoach #parentingwithanarcissist #parallelparenting #coparenting

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Trump left the NATO summit early because people were caught on tape making fun of him. Cadet bone spurs just can’t handle the pressure.

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#Repost @whenlightcamein • • • • • • Not all wounds are visible. Not all wounds happened with a single moment. Not all wounds are the same depth. But all wounds can be transformed, and we're doing that work, friends. A recent wave of battles has me more introspective lately. Maybe it's the triggers, maybe it's that they've come years after the first battles for freedom. Maybe it's that being in my forties brings more self compassion. All I know is that I'm seeing me in new ways, meeting new aspects of myself. I don't like all of me yet, but there's this deep acceptance of who I am as a person that permeates where fear and despising used to be. I like that change. I revel in the peace that brings. I feel the warmth of that growing light. #RelearningNormal 💛🦋 #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #cptsdsurvivor #abuseisabuse #covertnarcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticrecovery #lovedoesnthurt #findyourvoice #divorcerecovery #domesticabuserecovery #malignantnarcissist #survivorofanarcissist #selfworth #selfcompassion #selflove

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I get it. It's so easy to shrink back from the work of healing. It would be so easy to respond to that baiting text, the gaslighting. Just to defend ourselves to our abuser that ONE time... It would be so easy to abandon ourselves when setting that boundary feels like lifting a mountain. And really, what will it hurt to just not say anything? It feels easier to stay small instead of take a healthy risk. Easier to wade the familiar than embark on the unknown. But the known was destruction, and the new is hope. If we need breaks from the work of healing (and we DO need breaks... sometimes a lot of them), CHOOSE YOU, friend. Choose to take a breath, a nap, a walk, a day off. Just don't choose to make yourself small again. Even on the hardest days of inertia, you know you're worth more. That's the light, coming in. 🌟 Thank you to @bts_healingthepain for this image. #RelearningNormal #cptsd #cptsdrecovery #cptsdsurvivor #domesticabuse #intimatepartnerabuse #emotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #toxicpeople #malignantnarcissist #narcrecovery #domesticabuserecovery #domesticviolencerecovery #codependencyrecovery #recovery #recoveryquotes #trauma #traumasurvivor #healingfromhiddenabuse #findyourvoice #healingfromwithin

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💗 A reminder for today – your righteous anger, depression and anxiety are TOTALLY NORMAL reactions to an EXTREMELY ABNORMAL situation. . 💗 There is a world of difference between victims of egregious, premeditated and ongoing abuse finally snapping after being perpetually pushed to the breaking point, and narcissists abusing others by design intending to inflict harm. . 💗 Unfortunately it is very common to second-guess ourselves after enduring years/decades of gaslighting from the abuser/s. Their onslaught of hateful messages – both subliminal and overt – that we are the ones with the problem, have systematically conditioned us to internalize blame and feelings of worthlessness. . 💙Always remember, there is NEVER EVER any excuse for abuse! 💙The perpetrator is always 100% RESPONSIBLE for their actions! 💙You’ve done absolutely NOTHING to deserve it! 💙Abuse is ALWAYS unjustifiable, and NEVER your fault! . 💗 Also, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering if you’re the narcissist, please don’t worry because narcissists don’t wonder if they are, nor do they care! . 💗💗💗💗💗💗 ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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🔈 Sound on! 😅 While the narcissist in your life may appear to be everyone’s favorite person, in reality they don’t actually have any true friends. . Why? Because those in their circle don’t yet know the real them, and once their mask slips, decent people start to distance themselves. The flying monkeys/enablers who stick around? They are usually narcissistic themselves, and any love you see between them is fake, even though it may not seem that way. . Also remember, narcissist’s aren’t interested in forming true friendships with anyone due to their lack of empathy. They couldn’t care less about those around them, and only use others for their own means, despite their convincing public united front with their army of minions. ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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Smear campaigns are typically based on half-truths, which is why it is paramount to never divulge any personal information to the narcissist that could be used against you. Although sometimes, they will randomly make egregious lies up out of thin air. 🤥 . In addition to taking the focus off of the real issue at hand, abusers also leverage smear campaigns to garner ‘sympathy supply’ from their army of enablers by playing the victim. . Smear campaigns discredit the true victim in advance should they ever speak out about what is really going on. This is because the abuser gives people a preconceived notion that the target is ‘mentally ill’, ‘a liar’, ‘a bad person,’ and such. . In my experience, trying to correct the truth or prove a negative during a smear campaign is futile, and can even make the situation escalate. . If you’ve been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s smear campaign, please know I deeply empathize with you. It’s absolutely horrendous. ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh

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🖤And not a minute too soon. The new supply was moving into place. He showed me the texts during the discard as he was screaming in my face. "Yes, talk later". I was there to bring him wine and keep him company until she was available. . . #malignant #malignantnarcissist #clusterb #personalitydisorder #psycho #loser #warningsign #redflag #fuckboy #sidechick #ideservebetter #wedeservebetter #futurefaker #narcissisticabuse #narcfree #narcissist #narcabuse #survivor #fighter #abuse #abusesurvivor #emotionalabuse #cognitivedissonance #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissism #ifmywoundswerevisible #manipulation

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