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My journey so far..recap time My husband and I have been trying for 9 years... This past fall we were able to start fertility treatments. My first cycle converted from IVF to IUI last minute bc I only produced 1 follicle. We got pregnant!!! Words I dreamed of hearing. At nine weeks I lost the baby. Turns out he had trisomy 9 which is rare and linked to poor egg quality. Our world was turned upside down. We decided to try again, but this time complete IVF even if only 1 follicle again. Our second round we had 3 or 4 follicles...but I ovulated early while waiting for retrevial. Again something that happens with poor egg quality. Again... Beyond upset. Round 3 here we go... They see two follicles, we have retrevial... They get 2 eggs... And both came back abnormal within 24 hrs. We just found out last Friday. At this point my Dr feels donor eggs is our best bet. I just started the research process in regards to this. I also have PCOS, ENDOMETRIOSIS, and Hashimotos. ***Like every story...on to the next chapter...my journey is far from over*** #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

7

Doing research on the donor egg process, and it truly is fascinating. The egg may not be my genetically mine, but from the moment that embryo is placed inside me..my body takes over. Science truly is amazing. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

1

The last week has been rough. A lot of soul searching...a lot of research...and a lot of acceptance. I am so grateful to be where I am today...all my hurt, pain, tears are temporary and a part of my story. My story to being a mom. I had therapy today and we spoke about gratitude. Taking a moment to stop and reflect on the past, present and future. My past helped me get where I am today...my present is a work in progress and my future is so bright and full of so much positivity. I could stay in this current moment, of hurt, anger, pity for myself or I can rise up...and accept my truth and know that this is just my journey. Each day I have different emotions...but today I choose to be thankful. Thankful that my body can hold a viable pregnancy, thankful that I am strong, thankful I am determined, thankful for my support system, thankful for the possibility of being a mommy one day. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

3

Check out our Autism Story. . In my stories. . I said that I would share what Iโ€™ve been up to and why Iโ€™ve been mia for the past few months and I have. My explanation is in my stories so check it out. . Thank you in Advance. . #autismmom #autismacceptance #ispeakautism #autismawarenessmonth #autism2020 #awareness #explanation #mystory #ourstory #mentalhealth #majordepressivedisorder #hisstory #ourstruggle #overcomingobstacles #wegotthis๐Ÿ’ช

0

4 yrs ago today I was at Walt Disney World. I made a wish to the blue fairy that I would get pregnant and be a mom. Here I am 4 yrs later... With one angel baby and hope that my wish will come true soon ๐Ÿ™ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

0

One day closer!!! I'm officially starting to lose my shit here in NJ. Now that I haven't been going for bloodwork and ultrasound every few days, I haven't left my house in almost a week. Days are blurring together, I worry non stop about my husband, friends and family that are essential workers and who are out in this. I'm praying my husband stays safe and doesn't get sick and bring this home to us. Each day I'm holding hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Stay safe and be well everyone... And most importantly STAY HOME โค๏ธ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

4

๐™๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™ฃ๐™™๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™–๐™ซ๐™š๐™ก ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง, ๐™Ž๐™ฉ๐™–๐™ฎ ๐™ฉ๐™ค๐™œ๐™š๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง ! โ€ข โ€ข โ€ข Taken by @zigizaresta #throwback #memories #ourstruggle #togetherwecan #bestfriends #womenpower #rotterdam

9

Bruuh๐Ÿ˜ฐ #mornininstafam #90sbabies #ourstruggle

0

Had a phone consultation with my Dr today to discuss our next steps. Explain my chances and figure out what we want to do moving forward. He hit the nail on the head and said something that I needed to hear. The donor egg is just one cell, one piece of my baby... everything once that embryo gets put inside of me makes it mine. I control the nutrients, and my body decides what genes it will make stronger than others. I've been wrestling with the idea the last few days how this baby won't have my eyes, or smile...but that baby will be mine...it will be my blood...it will be loved unconditionally by me and I will teach it how to be a smartass just like me. I know it's our best chance...now it's just figuring out the funds to do so. Finding a donor and moving forward. I am hopeful, I am excited, and most importantly I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #lowAMH #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #LOWOVARIANRESERVE #DonorEggs

9

The last few days have been rough. Our hearts have endured so much pain... After having so much hope. We have truly started to look into the donor egg process and what it will take to come to fruition. With everything going on with covid, I'm not sure how quickly things will progress ๐Ÿ˜ญ We are exploring all options, including changing clinics to see what our best chances and price would be. Since this journey has started we have had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. One things for sure...we will have a baby and I will be a mommy to a living breathing baby. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #donoreggs #lowAMH #lowovarianreserve

3

When time gets tough; Just act like nothing is wrong. Do the things that keeps your sanity going...๐Ÿ–ค P.S. i miss my friends, work, living and being outside ๐Ÿ˜ข #ourstruggle #thisviruswillnotwin #loveeveryonealways #musicneversleeps #fbf #flashbackfriday

0

Well we heard from the Dr today on the status of my eggs from retrevial yesterday. If you saw my story... You know it wasn't good news. Both eggs were abnormal and didn't fertilize and breakdown correctly. My DR really feels that our next step is donor eggs. It is just a punch to the gut...all the hoping, wishing, dreaming to have a baby with my eyes, freckles, nose, etc is gone just like that. I know the baby will still be mine...it will have my blood flow through it from day one...but it's still a lot to process. My heart hurts our wallet hurts and I just am sad. Thank you to all the amazing friends, family members and this amazing community for all the love and support โค๏ธ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #donoreggs

11

Let them be little. ๐Ÿ’• I was feeling pressured to follow a strict homeschooling schedule. Panicking about how I was going to manage, balance, and find the energy to still teach Ryker, entertain Lilly, keep up with housework, and work on my own school work. Monday was a disaster. We followed a strict schedule. It went well for the kids. NOT for me. I was exhausted by the time I got them both down at 7:30. I TRIED to listen to power points and read for school. I didnโ€™t absorb anything at all. I felt defeated. Tuesday I woke up determined to still teach Ryker a little bit but still be able to do my own work too. So, we went with the flow. I gave him some papers to work on independently while I got some school work done. It was huge difference. So yesterday I woke up early. I finished my workout before the kids woke up, did housework while they ate breakfast and played. Ryker did his papers before lunch and then after lunch I got Lilly down for a nap and set him up with a movie while I worked on my quiz. I got an 85% by the way! Pretty proud of myself. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป Going with the flow works for us. There will probably be extra screen time and playtime in our house so that I can manage to get my school work done too. This morning was the first morning I didnโ€™t have to ask or tell Ryker to read. He just got a book and started reading by himself. So, obviously weโ€™re doing something right by taking the pressure off. Donโ€™t stress yourself out or be too hard on yourself if you canโ€™t homeschool your kids right now. Donโ€™t compare yourself to what other moms are doing. Sometimes all we are able to do is make it through the day. And sometimes we can tackle all the tasks. Have a little grace, with yourself and your kids. Let them play. Let them have the screen time. Spend extra time snuggling and loving on them. Let them be little. ๐Ÿฅฐ #letthembelittle #findwhatworksforyourfamily #letthemplay #dontstress #nopressure #nojudgement #nocomparring #thisworksforus #gowiththeflow #grace #havealittlegrace #boymom #girlmom #momofboth #lovethem #myworld #ourstruggle #studentmom #mominschool #nursingschool #iwillbeanRN #determined #goals #goalsetter #goalgetter #reachforthestars

3

2 EGGS RETREVIED!!!! We are over the moon excited. I know there is a lot of steps from now till testing is completed but praying our baby is coming soon ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿคž๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ถ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

5

As I go to bed tonight I have such mixed feelings... My alarm is set to go off at 4:15AM to be at our clinic for 6 AM. The plan is to go in and retrieve the two follicles they saw, and send them for testing. But... What if I ovulated early again like last cycle??? They are bringing me in for an ultrasound first thing to make sure they are still there. If I did ovulate early my Dr thinks I should convert it to IUI. We know that can work bc well that's what happened our first cycle and we got pregnant with Peanut. My fear is if we do that, and it works, and I get pregnant will it end the same way bc we can't test ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I prayed for the first time since I lost Peanut today. I haven't prayed bc I have been so angry. Angry that I would get this far and it be constant hurt. I haven't prayed bc I'm angry that God can be with my baby, but I can't. Today when I prayed I told him how angry I was, how hurt I've been...but that I trust him and this journey. That whatever is meant to happen tomorrow will happen. Pray for me, I want more than anything to be a mommy to a living baby. Sorry for the long post...it's just what I am feeling right now ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿคž๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ‘ถ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

5

I am so thankful that I got the ok today for our retrevial!!! After 16 days of menopur and Follistim we will be triggering tonight at 9 pm!!!! As far as they see I have one large follicle and 2 under 10. Praying that it makes it till Thursday ๐Ÿ™ If not they are going to convert it to IUI last minute. So much stress, so much anxiety and so much hope. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

6

I swear this is true. I've said this during my therapy sessions how something will happen and it brings me back to that moment or the D&C itself. I know when I went into the retrevial last month as soon as I walked into the OR I started crying hysterically bc it brought me back to the D&C. This is something that has rocked me to my core. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

5

CYCLE 3 DAY 15 OF STIMS My body is really fighting this round ๐Ÿ˜ญ my right ovary is showing 3 follicles now. One is 14 the other two are under 10 and just not GETTING BIGGER!!!! Sooooo what does this mean??? 2 more days of stims then bloodwork and ultrasound again on Tuesday ๐Ÿ˜ญ I am nervous each day they are going to close the fertility clinic and stop all treatments. I'm also afraid it's just not going to work. This whole process is overwhelming on its own but to now have the fear, and anxiety of COVID-19... WELL IT JUST SUCKS. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

1

Back into my skinny jeans. Haven't been able to put these on since we started fertility treatments in October, then getting pregnant, and losing that weight after losing Peanut. It's bittersweet...as I should be more than 1/2 way through my pregnancy right now with a nice sized bump....but I'm just looking at it as I am getting healthier for the next round whenever that may be. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

4

COVID-19 AWARENESS HOME WORKOUT #wod CFT - 100 Single Unders or 50 Double Unders - 50 Situps - 80 Single Unders or 40 Double Unders - 40 Situps - 60 Single Unders or 30 Double Unders - 30 Situps - 40 Single Unders or 20 Double Unders - 20 Situps - 20 Single Unders or 10 Double Unders - 10 Situps Then Rest 4min straight into: 3 Rounds - 60sec Wall sit - 50m Bear Crawl - 40 Air Squats - 30 Pushup shoulder taps - 20 Ground to Overhead (any odd Object) - 10m Handstand Walk or 10m Bear walk #isolatedworkout #covid_19 #awareness #CrossFitWHK #stayingfit #ourfight #ourstruggle #ourtriumph #marchingsuperheroes #marchingforfitness #marchingforhealth #soldoutonLife #health #fitness #lifestyle

0

โ˜น๏ธ letโ€™s tweet, mention, share, pull, tag, DM them, whatever, to see if we can make a change here for #Africanfreelancers #ourstruggle #freelancerstruggles

7

Missed last nights live??? Catch the replay! I made a big announcement and had a Q&A! My Single, โ€œSing Childโ€ is on all streaming platforms! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ Download Download Download NOW!!!!! I have a #SingChild challenge. Itโ€™s super easy and it gives you a chance to win the full #Big11 album once it drops! All you have to do is, download the single and add it to your playlist, screenshot it, upload it to your social media page, tag your favorite gospel radio station/DJ and hashtag #SingChild! That is it! You get one entry for this! Now, if your feeling yourself, upload a video of you singing part of the song and hashtag #SingChild. You get 5 entries for this!!! You must use the hashtags for us to be able to search and find you for the drawing! #SingChild #Big11 #Spotify #AppleMusic #GooglePlay #Youtube #NowAvailable #NobodyKnows #GodKnows #NewMusic #TheJRShow #OurStruggle #WeGotThis #StayPositive #PositiveVibes

2

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ #funnyanddumb #ourstruggle

1

Prepare for more raids, more deaths, more fear, and more suffering in our community. . . . #ourstruggle #policestate #hisnamewasduncanlemp #2020 #dystopia #freedom #tyranny

21

This is so very true. I have met so many amazing people through my fertility journey. Some have become a constant in my life, following up almost daily and checking in on me. So much ๐Ÿ’• for them!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

0

Saw this post today and this photo spoke to me on so many levels. It's hauntingly beautiful. I miss Peanut everyday... But I know he will hand pick the perfect sibling to send to earth for me one day. My life is forever changed bc of you. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

3

Update!!! Nurse called earlier today... I have 6 follicles currently on my right ovary (they are all measuring small) but 3 days ago I only had 3 on that side. Nurse says my estrogen level is still on the low side... Gotta keep taking my meds and follow up on Tuesday morning. Hoping these little follicles keep getting bigger and out of the 6 there is 1 good one. Keep sending happy thoughts, baby dust and strength my way peeps...I need it!!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

7

CYCLE 3 DAY 6 OF STIMS Not gonna lie I feel like it's been 2 weeks of shots and it hasn't even been 1 full week ๐Ÿ™„ Sitting at morning monitoring waiting to go in for my ultrasound to see how the little follicles are doing. Praying my body is reacting well to the meds ๐Ÿ™ Updates to follow later today All I know is this whole journey has tested me as a person, a woman, and each day I get up and keep going. I am a warrior just like so many of you... Even when I don't feel like it #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

0

New beginning Take a positive side Reading books Strengthening your imaginations and creating dreams Implementation in the form of art,music, dance Or anything creative Getting more creative Being able to improve our skills Video calls work if lonely Taking a new step to being having a positive side of any pandemic or any situation It's us Be the change Bring the change Trying our best in being optimistic No matter what ever ordeals comes up Let's all face it together with a smile And a new way of thinking it positively Sadness will be there So will all the dark thoughts coming up But is together fighting for anything Having the will power And as well in coming up to Be strong We live once Live it to the fullest A NEW BEGINNING A NEW START it's always there....... #newbeginnings #newstart #change #love #hope #faith #struggle #pandemic #positivity #fight #ourfight #ourstruggle #life #willpower #togetherness

6

Happy 1 month gotcha day Gunner In this month you have helped more than words can express. You have been a reason to get out of bed You have shown me unconditional love You have laid with me when I was sick or sad You have stood next to me and even licked my foot while getting my shots You drive me crazy... Yet make me laugh. So blessed and thankful for you #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

6

Needed to take a walk and clear my head. Today has been hard. I know I have to just wait and see how things turn out but I'm hanging in by a thread. The support I have from this community, friends and family I am so blessed to have. I need to let go and give it to God. Everything is out of my hands... What will be, will be right?!?! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

8

Repost from brother @_rizzaislam. Much facts in this. Keep spreading our truths and waking up some of our folks. #payattention #blackinamerica #unite #awareness #ourstruggle

0

Just gotta keep on moving...it's all I can do at this moment. I know everything will be ok... Some days are better or easier than others... And some days... Well... SUCK. TO ALL THOSE STRUGGLING...WE GOT THIS!!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

0

I've been having a really hard time the last few weeks. Crying a lot, when I am alone driving to and from work it's the worst...it's the time I let my mind wonder and think about how far I should be in my pregnancy. That I should feel you kicking.. That it would almost be the half way mark to meeting you Instead I'm alone, without you. I am doing yet another round of IVF to try and have my dream of a family come true... But reality is I want you there Peanut... I hate this feeling... This sadness... This anger... This jealousy at times. I hate that I hurt as much as I do. I fucking hate miscarriage!!!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

6

Endometriosis you suck, PCOS you suck, Hashimotos you suck too!!!! I have not 1, not 2 but 3 disorders that effect fertility. 3 disorders that on any given day causes me pain, aches, moodiness, exhaustion. 3 disorders that make me not able to lose weight even after weight loss surgery. 3 disorders that take over my life EVERY SINGLE DAY. 3 DISORDERS THAT I WILL NOT LET DEFINE ME, MY LIFE OR MY FUTURE. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

1

Cycle 3 Day 1 of Stims I loathe you menopur ๐Ÿคฌ It burns so bad!!!! I cried during and after the shot tonight ๐Ÿ˜ญ I know it's what I have to do...I just don't know how much more of this I can take if this round doesn't work. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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Welp...I've been quiet bc I've been in a huge funk since the retrevial failed a few weeks ago bc I ovulated early. Tonight we start our 3rd cycle of IVF, HOPING AND PRAYING for a retrevial this time around. Went in for early morning monitoring and they are seeing 6 follicles currently... Hoping my body reacts to the meds and they all continue to grow. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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I was diagnosed with #endometriosis when I was 27 years old...I remember fighting with the Drs for almost TEN YEARS before I was finally diagnosed!!! At that time...I just had a small little spot on the back of my bladder... But I had been in the ER for excruciating pain years leading up to that. Fast forward a few years...2016 I think... And I felt a pain like I've never experienced before... That pain was on and off from May till August...I go in for surgery for what they thought was just a large cyst on my left ovary... And find out that I had been suffering from ovarian torsion and at that time was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis...it was EVERYWHERE. Here we are present day 2020...I have another large cyst a little bigger than a golf ball on my left ovary again... And I know the Endo has gotten bad again. This disease can be crippling... When I have a flair up my pain is intense and my exhaustion is through the roof. What's the cure for Endo? Well there isn't one... But what can help? BIRTH CONTROL or GETTING PREGNANT ๐Ÿ™„ I can say the few months I was pregnant I wasn't in pain and it was amazing!!! This is just a little about my background...I will touch upon more about Endo and some symptoms in other posts... I am 1 in 10 FU ENDOMETRIOSIS #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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For whoever needs to hear this today... This is for you ๐Ÿ’• I've been having a rough few weeks... Dealing with personal shit, finishing my shots, deciding to do a retrevial.. Yet ovulated too early so no eggs to retrieve ๐Ÿ™„ to taking care of the puppy to name a few. I'm exhausted, emotionally, meantally and physically. I will get through this just like everything else bc I am strong and know I am capable of amazing things.... Especially being a mom. Thank you all who have been there showing love and support unconditionally. My village is strong and I am so thankful for each of you #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle3 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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***DONT โ™ฅ๏ธ WITHOUT SWIPING THROUGH FIRST*** Become AWARE, you'll never know that it matters until it hits home! #RareDeseaseAwareness #GastroschisisAwareness #Gastroschisis #Family #love #OurStruggle #Life

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Hey folks! Tomorrows The BIG SHOW!!! Our History isn't stories of the past but Ourstory to propel us into the Future!!! Bring your children, family, and friends out to enjoy a Black History Program with performances from the children of the community as they stand on the shoulders of GIANTS!! #blackhistory #blackexcellence #ourstory #africanamericanhistory #ourinheritance #kingsandqueens #ourlegacy #ourculture #ourancestors #ourpioneers #ourleaders #ourinventors #ourtrailblazers #ourcommunitybuilders #ourgreatness #ourintelligence #ourpain #ourfight #oursoul #ourmind #ourspirit #ourstruggle #ourtriumph #ourvictories #againstallodds #stillfightingfor #freedomjusticeandequality #standingontheshouldersofgiants

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In January 1923, the African-American community of Rosewood, Florida was destroyed during a racially motivated massacre, killing approximately 27-105 black individuals. Why? A white woman falsified an alleged assault committed by a black male. This consequently led to a search for alleged suspects Jesse Hunter along with accomplices Aaron Carrier and Sam Carter. Carrier was incarcerated and questioned while Carter was lynched. The white mob suspected Carrierโ€™s cousin, Sylvester of harboring Jesse Hunter. On January 4, 1923, a group of 20-30 white men approached the Carrier home and shot the family dog.ย When Sylvesterโ€™s mother Sarah came to the porch to confront the mob, they shot and killed her. Sylvester killed two men and wounded four others before he too was killed. The next day the white mob burned the Carrier home before joining with a group of 200 men from surrounding towns and they began a violent rampage burning homes and murdering residents. An official report claims six blacks and two whites were killed.ย Other accounts suggest a larger total as great as 105 people. Many of the black residents of Rosewood who fled into the swamps were evacuated by local train conductors. Other black residents of Rosewood fled to Gainesville and to northern cities. Rosewood became deserted. The initial report of the Rosewood incident, claimed there was insufficient evidence for prosecution. No one was charged with any of the Rosewood murders. #blackhistorymonth #blackhistory #ourstruggle #ourstories #neverforget

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Thank you @selenagomez and @rarebeauty for creating a platform where we can share our unique stories ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ™Œ. . . . #selenagomez #rarebeauty #rarebeautycommunity #makeup #sharingstories #ourstruggle #WeAreRare

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CYCLE 2 . . EGG RETREVIAL DAY . . . So... They couldn't do the procedure. I went into OR They knocked me out went in... And I fucking ovulated within the last few hrs. I'm so sad... And disappointed ๐Ÿ˜ข Now I have to try again... I want to quit... Throw my hands up and be done... But then I will let this disease beat me. I am stronger than that... Then all of this... INFERTILITY WILL NOT ROB MY CHANCES OF HAVING A LIVING BREATHING CHILD!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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Getting ready to leave for retrevial!!!! I am still processing the fact we are doing IVF...as of Sunday we were planning on converting to IUI again. I hope and pray they are able to get some eggies and that one makes it through all the testing. Thank you to all who have reached out, said prayers, been there to cry to, vent to or ask questions. My heart is so full knowing we have the support we do ๐Ÿฅฐ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #eggretrevialday

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CYCLE 2 DAY 14 SECOND TRIGGER SHOT Now we wait... Retrieval is tomorrow at 10:50AM. As of this mornings monitoring there were 2 larger follicles and 2 small. Crossing fingers, toes, eyes, anything that I possibly can that we just get one good one. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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We pulled the TRIGGER!!! CYCLE 2 DAY 14 12:20 AM Cross your fingers and say some prayers ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™ Next trigger at 12:20 PM... THEN RETRIEVAL TOMORROW MORNING!!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS #TRIGGERSHOT

10

So we have been going back and forth for awhile now between doing another IUI or trying IVF. I still didn't produce a ton of eggs...but there are 2 larger ones 23 and 21 and 2 around 10. The DR really thinks we should give it a shot (no pun intended) and try IVF this round with genetic testing on the embryos. We are pulling the first of 2 sets of trigger shots tonight...or early tomorrow AM I guess at 12:20 AM... Then second shot will be tomorrow at 12:20 PM. RETRIEVAL WILL BE TUESDAY MORNING!!!! I am so scared they are going to come back as BAD EGGS...or if they will even make it to testing. My anxiety is high... nerves are through the roof and just trying to breathe!!!!! #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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CYCLE 2 DAY 13 OF STIMS Morning monitoring to see how these little follicles are growing. Hoping to be pulling the trigger soon ๐Ÿคž While driving here today Joe and I were talking...I explained how angry I am this time around. I hope and pray that anger goes away soon. #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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Menopur I loathe you!!!! 3 vials was bad... Felt like I was being stabbed with a hot poker... 6 vials feels like hot lava is being injected into my stomach and slowly creeping through my veins ๐Ÿ˜ญ #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

3

Waiting for the call about my bloodwork... But might be pulling trigger tonight or tomorrow based off ultrasound this am... Which means IUI WOULD BE IN A FEW DAYS!!! I think my heart isn't ready to possibly be excited for a new baby... But it's also not ready for the cycle to fail... Just trying to breathe and trust the journey #ourjourney #newchapter #faithtrustnbabydust #1in8 #1in10 #IVF #IVFML #StickyBabyDust #lottaloveandalittlescience #makingbabyvic #shottime #IVFgotTHIS #endometriosis #pcos #ourstruggle #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #itjusttakes1 #IVFcycle2 #Peanut #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #myangelbaby #miscarriageSUCKS

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