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Depression is still scary, even when you know it’s a disease, even when you know it’s not really you. It’s no different if it’s your first or 50th depressive episode. The signs start to show and the darkness starts to loom over you. I can tell based on my sleep, eating habits, bank account (I spend more because I don’t care), and TV habits. Negative thoughts start to swirl around as a gray haze settles in front of my eyes. The world loses color. You can do everything to try and stop it—meditate, take your antidepressants, go to therapy, etc., but it can still hit. You know the desire to not live is not really you. Because the authentic you has dreams and goals and loved ones. But this sick you just wants out. Talking and writing about it helps me. It holds me accountable. It makes me get up again in the morning, even if I don’t want to. Because I will not let this disease win. And idk, maybe it’s annoying to share on here, but it’s a form of self care for me. Because to know I’m not alone can make all the difference. It’s so scary to have your thoughts and emotions spiral out of control. To feel like the pain pressing down is unbearable. That there is no way out. But I know this darkness won’t last forever. There is light somewhere. I just need to find it. #depressivethoughts #depression #anxiety #therapy #therapists #suicidalthoughts #suicide #suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness

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Posted @withrepost@phenomenalact1 Getting depressed people to open up and ask for help means nothing when so many people would rather ridicule them and make up their own answers. If you or anyone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, here are a few websites that will help. The first has stories from people who overcame those issues, as well as a page where one can build their own action plan. The second has a list of suicide prevention hotlines for every country. https://headsupguys.org/take-action www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html ____________________________________________ #phenoMENalAct #mendontcry #realmendontcry #boysdontcry #realmen #realman #gendergap #genderbias #WorldSuicidePreventionDay #mybrotherskeeper #MRA #maleissues #mensrights #mensrightsactivist #theredpill #redpill #toxicmasculinity #letstalkaboutmen #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #suicidalthoughts #suicide #depression #depressed #headsupguys #Movember

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Getting depressed people to open up and ask for help means nothing when so many people would rather ridicule them and make up their own answers. If you or anyone you know is feeling depressed or suicidal, here are a few websites that will help. The first has stories from people who overcame those issues, as well as a page where one can build their own action plan. The second has a list of suicide prevention hotlines for every country. https://headsupguys.org/take-action www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html ____________________________________________ #phenoMENalAct #mendontcry #realmendontcry #boysdontcry #realmen #realman #gendergap #genderbias #WorldSuicidePreventionDay #mybrotherskeeper #MRA #maleissues #mensrights #mensrightsactivist #theredpill #redpill #toxicmasculinity #letstalkaboutmen #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #suicidalthoughts #suicide #depression #depressed #headsupguys #Movember

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Tell me why?

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Been a bit more productive today but suffering for it with the pain mind. Feel like I’ve been on the go forever, really should have tried a bit harder to take a break earlier but there was too much to do. It’s still a learning process and after the last few days I need to re find my focus. Small steps is the only way to go. Tried a run this morning early doors and it was laboured 5k that felt like 25 😂 having a sit down for a while then I’ll try to stretch a bit before I try to get some kip. Just got to keep going

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So I guess my entire life I've just been dominated by low self esteem issues and low confidence to the point where I was extremely shy and struggled with anxiety especially in social situations, and anxiety and depression dominated my life as I grew to hate myself more and more by the day. I grew fixated on the idea that I had to be better than others, not because I thought I was superior but because I wasn't good enough, and i struggled to meet my expectations and was constantly failing. That voice inside my head dominated my life and I never really had an awful lot of friends which might have been because I never believed there was anything remotely likeable or good about myself Fast forward a couple years and life is a little better, the thing is I used to have these friends who I was really close with but we're still friends but I'm not as close with them as they are and I don't really have an awful lot of friends either. Two of them who I've been really close with have become a lot closer with each other and I feel like I'm losing them and it's shit. The thing is my boyfriend is popular and shit and he had loads of friends and normally I hang out with him and his friends at lunch but recently he's asked me if I want to go hang out with my friends and the thing is a part of me is worried that he will be embarrassed of me if he realises how much of a pathetic piece of shit I truly am if he hangs out with us at lunch and I guess it sounds a little stupid but idk it's been really bugging. Yeah this has no point I just need to get this out somewhere 💙 Day 65 🦋 #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexiaawareness #anorexiarecover #anorexiafighter #anorexiawarrior #beatinganorexia #anorexiasucks #anorexiawarrior #anorexiafight #anorexiarecoverymeal #edrecovery #eatingdisorderawarenessweek #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderfighter #anorexiaproblems #eatingdisorderecovery #depression #depressionposts #anxiety #anxietysucks #suicidalthoughts

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Healing Trauma Sometimes the wounds from those that hurt us can be overwhelming. They over take our mind and psyche, as we believe that this our worth. What we deserve. Shame, self-hatred, depression, sadness, these are all ancient relics left over from our abusers that remind us everyday of what we went through. The abusers never leave our psyche. However as we focus on our pain, you forget the friend who tells you they love your smile. You forget the neighbour who always says hello. The boyfriend that got you white roses, your work colleague who keeps you in fits of laughter. You forget the ones who loved you. Don't let your pain be a curse. The ones that hurt you, do not matter. There are plenty of people who will love you. To see more please click link in the bio. #mentalillness #instapoets #instapoetrygram #writersofinstagram #mentalhealthawareness #poetsofinstagram #igwritersclub #poetrygasm #depression #selfharm #suicideprevention #suicidalthoughts #blackblogger #haiku #micropoetry #bpd #buddha #buddhism #selfcare #poetess #poetsofinstagram #selflove #selfcare #therapy #poetsofig #poetryisnotdead #schizophrenia #chooselife #mentalhealthmatters

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I know it feels hard when you want to talk to someone but can't because you feel like it won't help. But you are not alone in this battle. If you are feeling suicidal, wanting to self harm or are just depressed please call 1-800-273-8255 #suicidal #suicidalthoughts #depression #anxiety #selfharm #selfcare #selflove #hope #semicolon #suicideawareness #suicide #suicidehotline #suicideprevention #suicidaltendencies #suicidepreventionawareness

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#Help other even when you know they can’t help you back.

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I love to post this picture every now and again as a reminder! A harsh reminder that #iAm the cause of all my problems! This picture was taken about a week after I decided I needed to change my life #Alcohol #Drugs #OverEating #BingeEating #SuicidalThoughts #CancerScare #Major #Depression #BiPolar #MentalHealth #Relapse #Issues #EmotionalTrauma you name it I’ve had to fuckin deal with it #YOU have to pull yourself from the depths of the #Hell in you mind, you can’t do it for your #Wife your #Kids or #Family it won’t work You need to change you for you and nobody else or it’s never going to work out I’m not perfect but one thing I was taught by my grandfather was #NeverGiveUp #NoPainNoGain #Bubba #iLoveYou #LetsGo #IGFamily #IfItsTimeForAChange #GetOffYourAss #Move #KeepPushing #Inspiring2MotivatePeople

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