if you're funny, you're automatically 75% more attractive. beauty fades but sarcasm, that shit last forever.
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Today our #middleandlittle are THREE. THREE whole years old. They’ve taught not just Austin and I so much in three years they even have taught and continue to teach family, friends, and more often than not total strangers something new every time we step out in public. You’ve got questions? I’ve got a few of our most popular answers! •Yes they’re #twins •No they aren’t identical or PAternal but they are FRaternal•No being identical or FRaternal doesn’t have an effect on how close they are they fight kiss and makeup and are fiercely protective over each other they’re not just twins but siblings as well•Yes they’re mine•Yes I’m sure•No twins don’t run in our family but they do now•Yes that whole skip a generation saying well it’s actually for the birds•Yes I’m sure•No they eat what I cook I run a household not a restaurant•Yes my hands are full and my car and my house and my laundry basket those things are full too•No we weren’t on any fertility treatments we had some tequila then well you know•No we weren’t trying for twins tequila really does make your clothes fall off•No they aren’t two for one they’re two for two•Yes I breastfed and pumped and had a freezer full•No they don’t poop at the same time•No you aren’t the first to ask me that•Yes I too am happy that they’re mine and not yours•Yes I could’ve pushed but I chose to pull and it worked out just fine•No I’m not surprised your neighbors cousin has twins nothing surprises me anymore•No there’s never a dull moment and if it’s too quite I start sweating•Yes it’s hard but on MWF one stays outside so that helps•Yes that was a joke•Yes they have different personalities and likes and dislikes they’re two different humans•Yes they sleep in the same room•No you can’t work an assembly line as well as I can•Yes I’m sure•No we aren’t going to try for a boy call me crazy but I have no clue how you can try for a gender and believe it or not we are beyond grateful to have 3 healthy babies when many struggle to have 1•Yes that’s probably the most important lesson our middle and little have taught us•Yes if you have anymore #twinquestions please feel free to #Google them• #happybirthday #twinsisters #theyarethree at Gainesville, Florida
one of the biggest challenges a mother will ever face #playdoh #dontmixthecolors #why #theyaretryingtokillme #twins #asmallgang
I’ve been at her beck and call since Sunday. Literally. He walks in with a balloon and she’s healed. #walkietalkies #whatwasithinking #mutebutton #heswrapped
Thank God they canceled school for the next 2 days. The girls have had a blast playing in all the snow! #floridasnowdays #snowinacan #snowfordays #winterwondercan #sisters #twins at Gainesville, Florida
didn’t have time to go to #sephora soooooo next best thing #nyeready #sisters #twins #makeuptutorial #unsubscribe
Christmas might be over for you but it ain’t for me🙌🏻 #bookofouttakes #giftthatkeepsongiving #ilivefortheouttakes
Suffering with pure comfort as my mother in law always says #holidaysarefornapping #cozy #thirdcousins at Gainesville, Florida
the best Christmas since the last best Christmas #merrychristmas #family #cousins #sisters #twins #aunts #tonsoflaughs at Gainesville, Florida
what a boring start to our morning #sister #sillystring #boo #merrychristmas
take this family to the farm, give ‘em some guns, and they’ll have themselves a good ole time!
Even Barbie is ready to get this elf shit over with. Or she’s just easy. Or it was my kids fathers turn🤷🏻♀️ #topdown #elfontheshelf #imoveryouporter
1st and very well our last #sisterslumberparty #wehavelostit #imalreadytiredtomorrow #sisters #twins
It might be 80 degrees outside and the AC is running inside but it’s officially winter break🎅🏼🍾☀️ #wegolfcartit #tistheseason #flipflopsonchristmas at Gainesville, Florida
my kids adore her, she’s a great role model, she’s one of the people i love most in the world, and today’s her #sweet16 #happybirthday #fullcircle #secondcousins #thirdcousins
i’m gonna be a kindergarten homeroom mom for the rest of my life #reindeerfood #parentswilllovetheglitter #pinterestforthewin #tistheseason
This was pre tequila. Can’t remember what post tequila looked like...I’m pretty sure the bottle was expired though🤷🏻♀️ #itsfunbeingamomtoday #tistheseason #holidaypartiesgalore
eat🎄drink🎄exchange ornaments🎄repeat #tistheseason @hennajs92 @aliyaswebb @coriebpatton at Gainesville, Florida
thanks for falling in love and getting married @phat_cooks #bachelorpartyplusone #friendssincekids #storiesonlygetbetter at Smith & Wollensky Miami Steakhouse
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