Black Culture, Black Love and our Appreciation for Black Women around the world 🌍
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Constant reminders to women:
1. Do what feels right to you. Whether it’s staying celibate, dating, not dating, or having sex. Whatever it is, make sure that YOU are happy with it and that it’s not just to satisfy other people.
2. You do not have to stay in a horrible relationship just because you’re scared other people will judge you about moving on. Staying in an abusive, manipulating, unhappy, or just non-stimulating situation does not make you a ride or die or anything positive. Leave.
3. Choosing to ignore and give up opportunities to date people and explore relationships that you’re actually really interested in is only going to hurt you -not the people who’re judging you about it- so do what you want please.
4. You do not have to live by any of that shit you were told growing up about what women should and shouldn’t be doing romantically/ sexually. If it is consensual and safe it is FINE.
5. Avoid explaining yourself to people who just want to argue and avoid trying to convince people that you are worthy. If they aren’t interested, then they are not interested. If they don’t want to understand then they will not understand.
6. Your sex life is nobody’s business besides you and the person you’re having sex with. Remember that next time strangers, family members, or even friends press you to talk about things that you don’t want to talk about. ( Important note: I am just encouraging women do what’s feels right to them and to live and think for themselves. Anybody who purposely acts stupid will be blocked. No slut-shaming, no long ass “I agree but” paragraphs to disguise slut-shaming either. )
Let me tell y’all what’s NOT a compliment. Seeing someone in a relationship (or hell just someone in general) get dragged for their appearance and then being like “OMG maybe it’s not about looks! Maybe his girlfriend likes him for who he is.” Or “HEY! I’m sure she has a great personality! He probably doesn’t care how she looks!” Like huh? Are you defending this person from the insults or just adding fuel to the fire sweetie? It’s basically just another way of saying (and a poor attempt to sugar-coat) that you think they’re ugly and that their partner can’t possibly be physically attracted to them.
And I’m sure most of the people who say shit like this KNOW what they’re doing. They just want to write whole ass think pieces while being indirect and fake nice about it.
Newsflash: it isn’t every woman’s goal to become a mother and/or a wife. Stop making young girls believe that that is their ONLY purpose in life; stop raising them to believe that knowing basic skills and necessities are solely for the benefit of their future spouse.
Stop making older women feel useless just because they do not have it or because they have no desire to have it. Motherhood just isn’t for everyone and some women are perfectly capable of being productive and functional citizens WITHOUT being a parent. Marriage just isn’t as important to some as it is to others and that’s fine!
Black people can and do have natural blue eyes and blond hair of all curl patterns, genetic diversity and gene expression is impressive like that.
When black people wear blue contacts, they’re not appropriating any culture because you can't appropriate a culture if that culture isn't from a different group historically and/or currently institutionally oppressed
That’s right, accept the fact that black people have blue eyes. But somehow they call it a mutation, funny, strange or even blue contact lenses. That is how far they will go to deny our truth. 🙌🏾💕
Please do not revert back to bad relationships in times of loneliness or boredom.
Please do not beat yourself up for missing someone who isn’t good for you. It’s normal for you to grieve the loss of a relationship even if that relationship wasn’t the best. Sometimes, the only reason why we put up with certain people is because they are all that we know, we think they are all that we’ll ever have, or we just don’t know any better because we’ve never had better. Be proud of yourself for finally realizing that you deserve more. This is just a reminder that you are strong, you were right to leave such a negative situation, and you will make it through this.
When complimenting a person with dark skin, you don’t always have to point out that their skin is dark. When complimenting a black person, you don’t always have to point out their race. It’s so strange how people can find a million different nice things to say about nonblack people or just people of lighter complexion WITHOUT mentioning their skin tone but as soon as it’s a darker person all you have is “chocolate” or “black beauty” or “dark queen.” Instead of just saying “wow she’s gorgeous.” you have say “she’s a pretty dark skin girl.”
Do you see how annoying and forced it sounds? It almost implies that she’s pretty FOR a dark skin girl. Would it be too much to just say she’s beautiful and leave it at that? Are you incapable of complimenting a dark skin person WITHOUT comparing them to dark things? Do better. Black people are more than just their skin color.
Your pain is still valid even if the person who caused it shows no remorse, even they never apologize or care to give you closure. Again, someone else’s lack of guilt for mistreating you doesn’t mean that you deserved it and it doesn’t impact your value! Sometimes we have to forgive those who aren’t even sorry just for our own sanity. May peace of mind find you soon. ✨
Please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.
Note(s) to self:
1. I will know the freedom and relief that comes with self-love. I will post what I want, wear what I want, and love me loudly no matter who it disturbs.
2. My aesthetic is identical to nobody else’s and that is a good thing.
3. My body, my choice.
4. The way I live my life will cater to ME. The way I choose to exist will benefit ME.
5. I still shine, even when other people do not acknowledge it.
6. I deserve compliments, love, and positive attention.
7. I will always remind people who do not see my worth that they can get the fuck away from me. ✨
Shoutout to everyone who feels insignificant and forgotten.
To the people who are always left out,
to the people who sat in a class for an entire semester and the teacher still couldn’t remember your name,
to the people who always show up for others but they are never shown the same love,
to the people who get ignored in the group chat,
to the people who always call first, who always ask to hang out, never the other way around,
to the people who feel like if they died today nobody would care, it is going to be okay!
I cannot lie to you and say that everyone you meet will care for you in the same capacity that you care for them but I can tell you that if you’re the only one putting in effort into that relationship then it just isn’t worth keeping! I want you to remember that you are not a burden, you are not invisible, and that your life matters! Even on the days that people forget your name and you feel like a shadow, you matter! You may not be a priority in their lives BUT you are YOUR main priority so treat yourself accordingly. ✨
To anyone who has or had to deal with acne, hyperpigmentation, or any other skin condition, I want you to know that it does not make you any less worthy or beautiful. You are still valuable. You are still enough and you are still deserving of love and respect just as much as anyone else. With or without it, you are still a beautiful person. ✨
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